Aphorian Illustration by Jack Parra
Aphorians Theme Song by Parker Jesser

Home Planet: Sssaphorsssanusss

Physical Description

The Aphorians (Pronounced: Ah-four-e-ins) are similar to Earth snakes. Their scales are mostly dark shades of red and blue. Most of them also have customized scales implanted along both sides of their necks. They are four feet long, and as thick as a human adults’ leg. Their eyes have two eyelids: An inner one that closes up and down, as well as helping their night vision. Their outer eyelid is made of hard, protective scales that close left to right. Aphorians have shape-shifting tails, which they can change into whatever they need: A hand, a hammer, a fork, or a hockey stick.

Hockey Notes

The Aphorians play a unique style of hockey. Their powerful bodies can jump and slide in unusual ways, so you must be on your toes when playing them. They slither along the ice wearing long yellow shells that run along part of their backs. This makes them look a little like earthworms, but it protects their vital organs from sharp objects like skate blades.

Being so fast and low to the ice makes them nearly impossible to hit and takes away the physical element of hockey. Also: When you play the Aphorians, your goalie needs to be ready to stop some crazy shots! Elite Aphorian hockey players take great pride in their tail-eye co-ordination. They are extremely accurate, even as they are whipping their bodies around upside-down, in mid-air, and at high speed!

Historical Notes

The home world of Sssaphorsssanusss is a potato-shaped planet full of extremes. Compare the extreme cold of their polar regions to the blistering 180°F heat of their narrow equatorial band. In between are vast, densely packed jungles separated by long ranges of enormous mountains. Most extreme is the difference between the planets’ two oceans: Cousssto is a deep, salty ocean that supports millions of species of sea life. Ballarsssusss is a shallow ocean of toxic Arsenic where only one species can thrive: The Sssinosssisss Turtle.

In ancient times, Sssinosssisss Turtles hunted Aphorians. They were ten times bigger, and as smart as Earth dogs. They could leave the ocean for up to fifteen hours at a time and would hunt Aphorians in packs. Their attacks were deadly thanks to razor-sharp, four-inch teeth and seven, scissor-like pincers on the tops of each foot. Aphorian science developed rapidly to help them defend themselves. About a thousand years ago, the Aphorians had killed the Sssinosssisss turtles to near extinction. But then their deep space explorers found a planet on the other edge of their galaxy where the turtles could thrive.

Aphorians have always had to work together in large groups in order to build things. Each Aphorian has, on average, about fifty siblings. Therefore, their society is based on large, open, and well-connected communities. Parents have a hard time telling their children apart. In ancient Aphorian culture, they painted unique patterns of yellow scales along the sides of each child’s neck. As they got older, Aphorians continued to decorate these scales to represent their interests, jobs, and accomplishments. This tradition is still active on many Aphorian planets, but with many more rules. Modern technology allows them to implant lab-grown, replacement scales for this purpose.

When Aphorians learned about Earth, they were surprised to learn about how many kinds of snakes lived on the planet. They could not believe that none of them had the ability to talk or change the shape of their tails. They were also shocked to learn snakes weren’t the dominant species on Earth. They also couldn’t believe the planet has turtles who could live over 200 years!